Old Soul dating in a New World

Fashion in a suitcase came about as many friends and family would often tell me that my life on social media and conversely, basically everything in my life, was built around fashion and my constant traveling around the globe.  For the last few years, many close friends, colleagues and randoms I encountered would constantly wonder why I’m single.  Perhaps it’s that I’m often not home?  Either way…it’s a question I often find perplexing as well.  And yet most of my east coast friends and across the globe are fairly convinced it’s due to the fact that I live in Southern California, where the forever  bachelors and bachelorettes reside.

It is fascinating to see how society assesses your value by these “things” that you have that define you.  You’re single?  Why?!  Do you have 15 toes or a boat load of cats?  Surely there MUST be something wrong, if you’re single.  And yet the majority of people I know who are single are still, in fact, quite fascinating people who live very full lives, they just do so alone.  (and more often than not, not by choice).  So, with that being said, I find myself single and ready to mingle in 2016 and self admittedly more confused on how the process works then simply how it “use to work.”  It seems increasingly more challenging to date in a world where technology runs our day to day existence.  It’s not a matter of meeting someone you run into at a family function, a wedding, or through your work place (which I’ve always found to be somewhat of a sketchy idea) though it is ever commonplace.

After years of trying to go about it the “old school way” by happenstance, it turns out I just happen to remain single.  So, after years of fighting the concept of online dating, I have surrendered and caved in not being open to this new way of dating.  In fact, I’m as usual, a bit late to the game, in adapting to it since it’s not that new, it’s just that there are now a slew of options and app’s to do so.

So, here I go- diving into what everyone feels will be my saving grace for escaping singledom.  From Bumble, to Happn and the ever infamous, Tinder.  Though I have to be honest, after just a few encounters, trials and attempts, I have to say I’m even more disenchanted.  Sure, I’ve matched up with guys.  Plenty to speak of, though in my mind- albeit old school- it’s not a quantity game.  Plus, after matching up, where does it go from here?  I’m not into just a fling…Tinder…and I’m not into a game of texting forever in hopes there’s some connection via a wifi connection.  I’m the old soul who (still) believes and is convinced there is such “Something”…an energy…above and beyond attraction simply through filtered images.

Not to mention, even when you connect with someone there is the fact of “ghosting,” which is an ever present reality these days.  No explanation, no need for any further words, just poof- gonzo!  It’s incredible to see such a disconnect in humanity.  Or the (Who knew) reality of a Catfish?  The stories from friends experiencing all of this with “onAPP dating” has been beyond entertaining…and yet baffling.  It seems there’s yet another possibility to still be “considered” for future by what some are referring to as Benching.  Yep, exactly as it sounds- You’ve been benched.  So….you’re saying there’s a chance….but you’re just not sure.  Ahhhhh, yes….let’s wait and see if there’s a reason to meet up in future to determine if there’s anything to even worth considering in future. Seriously.  I’d rather be by myself, as I’ve chosen for a little while, as I seek a soulful connection, not just one based on drunken swiping to the right.  These days we are ever connected, ever turned on and yet ever checked out.  So, when I check in, I’d like it to be with someone who is able to do the same.  Call me old fashioned…I’ll take it as a compliment.  Come to think of it, perhaps I change my blog to Single and a suitcase?   Could be fitting.  Good luck out there, my single friends!

I think David Bowie may have had it right…#modernlove

Francine

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